I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
