if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
