anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize