Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize