great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
