Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I cut my penus on the lid.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
