I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
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