Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
