Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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