best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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