yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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