I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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