Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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