I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
