Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize