I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
