i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she smelled like a LAN party
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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