Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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