Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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