McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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