I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
there was a trapeze. enough said
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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