It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
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