I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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