i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
