Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
