How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
