Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
