Only a mothe r could love this liver
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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