WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
