The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
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