i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
