I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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