Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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