Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
that may or may not have been my penis.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
