Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
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