you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
