hell yes lets make some ravioli
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
