Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
