dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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