Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
