I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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