he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
