i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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