loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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