so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
