bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
