I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
