Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

No, you can still breathe under the balls.

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(519): View more from Ontario

While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport

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(517): View more from Michigan

He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.

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(631): View more from New York

he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing

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(613): View more from Ontario

I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon

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(804): View more from Virginia

Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone

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