we have officially lost it.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
