they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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