her vagine was all disorganized.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
