We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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