How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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