i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I would fuck him just for his dog
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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