i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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