Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
