I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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