I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
