third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
