He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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