Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We need to get me chipped asap
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
