he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
