Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
