Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
