Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize